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Recommended E-Book
Mastery Guide to Saving Marriage And Stopping Divorce
by Dr. Katie Zaltman, et. al.
The right to marriage is the right to bind oneself by a promise.
The right to bind oneself is the right to deny oneself the right to break free without substantial cause understood and agreed to at the time of marriage.
To hold a less tight standard regarding marriage is to be a liar, a coward, a thief, and a whore in the eyes of God and any honest person.
-- Daniel J. Dick
Resolving Marital Crisis and Affairs
Marital Crisis and Affairs need immediate attention because people often make their most serious and damaging mistakes in the initial moments of marital crisis and great pain . I feel a conflict between a pressing urge to press this point home and a desire to encourage people to avoid worry knowing that worry and panic can drive someone to render saving a marriage nearly impossible. At times like this, don’t blame yourself, panic, or lose hope. Get help quickly and calm down the panic, and relax, and take things in objectively. The more skill and confidence you have and the less panic you have, the greater will be your chances of saving your marriage. Consider the following e-books:
- Mastery Guide to Saving Marriage and Stopping Divorce by Dr. Katie Zaltman, et. al.
- Keep Your Marriage by Nancy Wasson, Ph.D.
- If there is an affair involved, Break Free From The Affair by Dr. Bob Huizenga is an E-Book that specializes in dealing with extramarital affairs.
Relationship Improvement
For a few years I heartily endorsed Michael Webb’s relationship collection having purchased it and gone through it thoroughly myself. However, I was a bit upset lately to learn some new items were added to the collection I could not sell with a clean conscience, so I had to stop selling the collection.
Even so, a few years ago I bought 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships and 50 More Secrets which came with it. I immediately printed both books off to read them cover to cover. These were among the best books I had read on strengthening marriages, and they were very easy to read and apply immediately. I am glad I bought them.
Questions for Couples Before Marriage
Before my wife and I were married, we went through much of 1000 Questions for Couples,and we loved it. It was awesome and a very worthwhile activity for us. The advertisement says many divorces could be prevented if couples asked the right questions before marriage, but I don’t think that paints a good picture of what makes this e-book so valuable. The book was just plain fun and it helps a couple bond and develop a more confident, healthy, safe, secure, and fun relationship.
The problem with many relationships is that couples enter into marriage insecure, vulnerable to manipulation and bullying, and with very shaky expectations, and when partners do not know each other well, they often expect the worst. These questions help couples work through issues important to them. In some situations, it might help prevent a marriage that might be a terrible mistake, but nobody should feel afraid that this book will blow their cover and ruin their chances to find happiness married to their loved one forever. If your relationship has good potential, this e-book should help you make it much better than what you expected.
Wise Dating Practices
Many people who come to this web site may wish they had read this before getting married, but don’t lose hope. The Relationship Improvement section above can help. But, dating practices can lead to great marriages or disastrous ones.
If you are single and looking for a partner, pray for wisdom and start working on a list, but rather than working on a preferences list, work on a list of things you would want to eliminate. For example, you may want to include drug abuse, promiscuity, violent temper, gambling, excessive drinking, and such. You may what to rule out certain religious differences, and then trust this list.
The best place to find someone is in your church or in a place where you are working on your primary purpose or calling in life whatever that is. Then to learn how to approach people and how do date safely and how to keep a relationship happy and healthy for life, I would recommend A Better Way To Date. I had previously recommended the whole relationship collection by Michael Webb, as I had bought it and found the materials to be quite good, but recently some things were added that I would be very uncomfortable selling and would not be able to do so with a good conscience. Even so, those items I have mentioned should be quite helpful.
Prayer
Many people believe strongly in the power of prayer as do I. However, there are times we can cry out to God for years, and we still ask where God is in these tribulations. Many times the comfort we hear from people neither comforts nor assures. Sometimes we’re better off just being honest about it and admitting we don’t have all the answers.
Yet somehow we feel and know there is power in prayer. Somehow we know God is listening. Perhaps we’ve seen miracles first hand. That’s nice, but why not now? Why does the tribulation rage on?
Sometimes it makes us wonder whether we have caused God to take His hands off our case because we sinned against Him. Perhaps we are being punished for our past. Perhaps He has forgiven us but we still must bear the consequences of our sin. But, somehow we know that is faulty thinking because we’ve seen the greatest sinners swimming in blessing while the most honorable and loving people perish as martyrs under the greatest torments known to man.
So, what about us? When does God answer prayer and when does He refuse? How can we make sure we’re not doing anything that makes it unwise and wrong for God to answer our prayers?
The important thing is to realize that God loves you and your spouse and your family very dearly, and if your heart is broken because something is wrong with your marriage, God’s heart is broken, too, and it would be His great joy to bless you and your family. But, the hard thing to accept is that things may not go in the way you wish them to go at all and you may be headed for a tremendous tribulation ahead. But, God would never let that happen unless it was necessary in order to bring about some greater good.
So, do something that may be very hard. Trust God with everything,. Seek Him in prayer. Seek His wisdom for what to do and even for what to pray for. God has a whole storehouse of answers to prayer all prepared in advance and waiting for us to be in a right relationship with Him to receive those answers to prayer.
God bless you and take care,
Daniel J. Dick
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